I love being at my parents because they have everything in the world (essentially free toiletry shopping for me) in what we refer to as the "bomb shelter." Some people might call this stealing, but they birthed me after all. Right now I have a load of laundry in because I'm scared I'm going to contract Hepatitis from the laundromat by my apartment. So because all my laundry is in the wash, I am wearing my mom's granny panties which come up to above my belly button. I asked my dad for sweats and he gave me Under Armor. I have a serious case of VPL. So my parents have the coolest bathroom complete with a bidet(for my dad who has a preoccupation with his back parts apparently). In the bathroom I can see myself naked in the mirror while I shower. As I love being naked, this can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the mood I am, what I ate last, and what time of year it is. Right now as it's winter, I'm super pale and everything looks bigger when it's white so I shuddered when I caught a glimpse of myself and tried to look away but I couldn't. It was like a train wreck that I can see from every angle. Mental note - get back in the gym after the holidays. Procrastinating is my favorite sport.
At my parents, I get in "trouble" whenever I don't squeegee the shower when I'm done. For this weekend's visit, I was sure to leave my dad a nice butt-print on the shower when I was done squeegeeing. It was initially on accident but then I left it on purpose. Generally when I am home visiting my dad follows me around from room to room and empties every garbage as soon as I put so much as a tissue in it.
Speaking of tissues - new invention alert. My dad asked for a napkin yesterday to blow his nose and I immediately demanded that I get him a tissue instead to which he replied, "Regular tissues are too thin and I end up blowing it all over my hand." While this was definitely TMI, it sparked a new idea - thick tissues for men. Possibly towel-like. I bet every man would buy into it. Advertisers - catch onto this one. I always want to invent something but am never proactive enough to do it. Would you buy tissues for men?
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